Day 5 is just too personal and uncomfortable for me to share!
So here goes Day 6:
1) These are mad hard for me because I just don’t know how to sum up myself in 30 phrases. I don’t even know myself well enough to do that! Also, to be completely honest, I’m afraid of people boxing me into this one kind of person in the 30 phrases that I spit out. I think I’m more complicated than that though.
2) I have this really bad tendency to stare off into space or stare off into a certain region. So if it looks like i’m grilling you or being a creeper by checking you out. I’m not, I promise. I just can’t help blanking out and living in my own swirl of thoughts in my head hahaha
3) If I’m sarcastic or mean in front of you in any way, I promise that means that I like you. I’m usually bubbly and sweet to people I don’t necessarily feel comfortable with or know too well, but if I have a good sense about you, I’ll be mean to you. Hatred is how I show affection? haha
4) I really don’t judge. I try to appreciate people for who they are and try to be as understanding as I could possibly be by looking at the broad picture.
5) I truly honor honesty above most qualities. Even if the truth hurts, I will value the truth above all else. I don’t like sugar coating and I don’t like beating around the bush. Please just say it. People think that by avoiding the truth, they are being nicer that way. I understand that. But it’s not genuine to me. Just be real. I may appear hurt in the beginning, but after a few moments, I will get over it and respect you for being strong and honest.
6) This is just an observation: I think a lot of people don’t realize that being nice means acting humbly for others without the selfish reason that it would impress others or make you look good by doing so. On that note, I believe humility is one of the most attractive and beautiful qualities in a person.
7) I have a firm grip on my beliefs of what’s wrong and what’s right. I try to live my life with conviction. But sometimes I have the tendency to do things I know I shouldn’t be doing…which makes me look like a hypocrite. So it kinda sucks that I’m aware of what’s right, but go against it. if that makes any sense?
8) I feel like I’m publicly embarrassing. I wish I had some shame in the things I say and do. Sometimes I like it in a weird way-makes life interesting. But sometimes I hate it because my shamelessness leads to others’ embarrassment.
9) Food is my boyfriend. I know people say it’s all psychological, but I am sort of convinced that food (especially chocolate) is therapeutic.
10) No wait. Actually, MUSIC is my boyfriend. My music collection eats up about 15 GB on my laptop. Kind of a problem haha but I appreciate all kinds of music-soul/R&B, jazz, classical, indie, pop, rock, rap (real rap not the Lil Wayne main-stream crap), etc. I don’t know where and what I would be without music.
11) I appreciate art in all forms-music, dance, poetry, rap, paintings. Dam, I could spend a whole day at certain art museums.
12) I like being alone. I like thinking to myself and having time to myself to do things. Last year, I studied abroad pursuing complete independence. I used to like traveling alone, shopping alone, eating alone. After being abroad though and trekking cities on my own, I realized that I can’t be this independent and strong person that I’ve always been. I can’t do it all alone. People need people. People need companionship.
13) On that same note, I really don’t know how to consistently be with someone or a group of friends without feeling like I’m being super clingy and attached. There are so many memories and stories I want to share with people that I simply cannot because I don’t allow myself to open up and express my emotions entirely to someone.
14) One of my greatest fears is getting close to people, fully expressing my true emotions, and being attached to people.
15) Tanzania 2007<3 THE most incredible irreplaceable memory I will cherish for as long as I live.
16) My emotions go to the extremes: If I love something, I am absolutely passionate, dedicated, and die-hard about it, if I’m anxious/worried about something, it will take over my mind no matter what I do, and etc. But if I truly care about something or find a passion about something, 200% of my heart and soul goes into accomplishing it.
17) I love a challenge. I’m driven by trying new things and not afraid to push my limits to try something new. I know that even if it will be difficult, I will learn something from it. Sh-t happens. You live and grow.
18) I have a big problem of letting feelings build up inside of me. I don’t get angry easily, but when I do, it results from a build up of little things that might irritate me…and it just gets really messy. boo.
19) I usually have a good intuitive sense about people. Not to toot my own horn, but most the time I’m right about people. I don’t share these insights, but usually I’m not surprised to hear certain things people reveal to me about themselves.
20) I love surprises of any kind-big or small. I don’t care, but I admire spontaneity, creativity and spunk.
21) I like gentlemen. No “bad boys”. Where oh where has chivalry gone?
22) I want to be in a relationship. After my first relationship, I don’t think I’ve ever been that vulnerable to anyone in my life. I’ve never reached that level again and it is probably because I am so afraid to ever be that vulnerable and exposed to someone. I try to open/express myself deeply but end up getting too nervous and afraid. But I am always striving to break out of this mentality.
23) I find a great happiness and joy in working with kids. I guess it’s because I can be my own inner kid 🙂
24) Life goal: Make a change.
I feel that any third-world nation that needs to be aided can only be supported by food and safety needs for so long by other power nations. It’s the fallacy in infrastructure, government, and ultimately, the economy. One strong way to help reshape a nation is by developing businesses with solid business knowledge. I didn’t know what I wanted to do before I went to college but now that I’m in a business school. Im here with the mindset that I will be able to make a difference in these nations with the business education that I have by planting seeds of my help and words of business advice.
25) Life goal 2: Work/Live abroad.
I hope to find a job that would allow me to live abroad for two years or so. At some point, I really would love to work in London for two years. I used to think that England could not possibly that much different from America (“It’s just the U.S. with a British accent) But I am completely wrong. The eclectic style, music, work life culture is entirely different. They seem so intelligent, cultured, charming , and I want to be part of it.
26) Three things I can’t do for life: decide on anything (even having a solid favorite color, movie, anything), multi-task (i fail at this), and fix my short-term memory(i have to write everything down)
27) I’m an absolute adorer of nature. I love spending time outdoors and can get lost in the wonders of it it all. I love hiking, camping, or just getting dirty with nature. Scenic views, stunning weather, and the fresh scent of nature are sublime. I prefer to be outside reading a book or just sitting outside eating than be wrapped in television or media in general. Those things can really be toxic without you even realizing.
28) In the same respects, I love the city as well. I love the diversity of the people there, the hustle bustle, and the livelihood of it all. It is so invigorating.
29) As loud and talkative as I am, I have an extremely difficult time opening up to people. If I open up to you with something…anything, it is crucial that you keep the trust because trust is something I hold dearly. If you break that trust, honestly, there is no going back.
30) I love learning. I think education is one of the most important pillars to being a well-rounded, tolerant, cultured person. I’m not even talking about learning on a school-level. I’m talking about anything-from learning to play ultimate frisbee to learning why a man-hole is round (have you ever considered that before?! Google it! IT’s interestinghaha) I like life and want to know about everything that’s out there.
31) My parents are two people I admire the most. My dad created his own lifestyle for himself and my family through his own merits, motivation, and hard-work. He went from absolutely nothing to being one of the most respected men in his field. My mother I admire because she is the strongest person I know. I’ve written a few entries about her in the past. As I get to know her more and more, I peel off those stoic, cold layers of hers to reveal more wisdom, empathy, understanding, and knowledge that she has. The more I get to know her the more surprised I am of how incredible of a woman my mom is.