“I was giving up a person who was really a very viable, powerful, self-reliant human being.  there were a lot of positive things about those negative aspects of my personality.  And I didn’t want to give them up.  Maybe it wasn’t the best way of coping, but at least I was used to it.  I felt incredibly vulnerable having to let go in order to make the room to create a new person.  Into what void would I be thrown if I let go of this stuff? I felt like a raw muscle walking around for a long time.”

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