This is my livelihood for the next few weeks.
When I decided to take a leave of absence, little did I know that I would be doing so to sign up for EMT classes. It’s been a wonderful decision thusfar. It’s freeing to just walk out of my house to find a life bustling in the quaint city of Cambridge and walk past local book stores and grocery stores.
On a more skeptical note, maybe it is a “honey moon stage” of my new life, where everything is unripe and fresh. But why choose to be skeptical and sad than enjoy the moment and live gratefully to God each day? 🙂
Taking EMT class was a bit of a dilemma though. The classes fell right in the middle of the time of my Monday night Highrock Women’s Bible Study, the group I have started to call my “Sisters” and the family that has helped me to see that “I don’t need to do this on my own” (which is something a lonely-me needed to have finally learned!)
I knew I had to take these classes though so I bit my lip as I decided to say goodbye to my small group. And I was a little disappointed at God, thinking, “Why?!” This was the first time I felt a true family and the first time I ever felt connected to a church. It was also the first time I ever felt settled into something. It seems so simple and stupid right? Feeling that I had a family? It’s like learning what love feels like for the first time to me. It’s beautiful and birds chirping in my heart. (oh mang so cheesy…)
So I thought, oh man again I have to make another transition in my life. I JUST WANT TO SETTLE DOWN INTO SOMETHING. I was feeling the bruises of loneliness, while praying fervently to God, knowing that there was a reason for why He “took this away” from me. Better things were yet to come.
And that’s when I met new Christians at Bentley. (Funny how I’m not at Bentley anymore and I’m meeting them now?) Seekers. Yay! The beautiful thing is, I barely know some of them, yet I feel their hearts yearning for purpose in life, seeking compassion, wanting to explore this intuitive feeling of “there is more to life”. And I started feeling compelled to help feed that thirst.
I decided to start a small group of Bentley seekers. As I was “googling” small group resources and looking at discussion topics, I ran across the verse above. It echoes in my head. When I first read this verse, a resplendent image of boisterous laughter, sharing (both our stories and mucho food hehe), and warm relationships. We’re in my dining table-I’m passing down a plate of warm toasty fresh potatoes across the table and one’s laughing until peas come out of his nose amid the clanging of forks landing on platters.
I’m really enthusiastic about this group of lovely Bentley students. Of course, I know it’s not going to be this picturesque haha. What actually is? There will be tough times and times of confusion for sure. I certainly don’t have all the answers, but God does. And I can only hope that through relationship building and compassion I can help them see God’s love.
I don’t even know who follows my blog any more since I don’t update it very well. But whoever still reads this, I would appreciate your prayers with all my heart. 🙂