Today’s sermon at church was such a spiritual awakening for me.
I took the time to pray just now for quite a bit of time, with my Hillsong Pandora and I feel like my life is taking a better direction already.
With senior year worries and anxieties in tow, that haul of garbage and baggage feels lighter, knowing that all my afflictions are so petty in comparison to His power and what He can do for me.
For a long time, I feel like I just had God has a buffer. Whenever my life turned sour, I would call to Him asking for help through my struggles, but when things were getting better, I thought of Him but my daily praying time was quickly replaced by other activities. I let Him control certain aspects of my life (like praying about forgiveness or mercy) but not others (like my school life and to-be work life). He needs to be my mentor, friend, and authority through all those things and not when it’s convenient for me.
And that’s when I realize, the reason I’ve been feeling so disconnected from God lately is because of my selfish and unrequited relationship with Him. All this time, I was frustrated at why I didn’t feel like He was answering me and it’s my own fault that I never really took the time to listen.
I feel like He has once again taken the reigns of my life. And I feel wholly renewed and empowered. God never fails to amaze me. And He never fails me. Period.