I realized I don’t like being alone. I thought I was the kind of person who always needed alone time, but lately, I’ve seen how perilous being alone has been to me. Alone, I suffer from my own introverted fantasies, crazy ideals, and self-pity.
At times, it’s nice. I need time to recharge my battery to be energetic and lively for the next day. Or other times I need to be a hermit simply to reflect upon my day and well, me. I’ve had a fair share of “me” time for the past year. During the past summer, I spent a lot of time alone in Korea, learning more and more each day about my parents’ history and what shapes me to be who I am today. Not to mention the hell I went through there-through the commute, emotional breakdowns, etc. etc. (I’d rather not be too public about this). The following semester, aka last semester, I spent a lot of time secluding myself from others. I felt completely lost and quite depressed about a mess of things (again, rather not be too public about this!)
Then I came here to Barcelona, thirsting for a breakthrough from all of this. But then I had my fair share of problems arising here as well (the broken heating and hot water, the fractured foot, other personal problems, etc.) It seemed that anywhere I went, problems came along. But I knew I would have to deal with some road bumps here so I stuck through. For the most part though, I was alone. I have been meeting people here and have made some great friends; but at the time, I needed my best friends or my family, you know, people who knew and loved me the most, to really comfort me. So once again, I was alone.
I’m so done with alone time. I realized that being with people makes me happy. People make me happy! I need company or companionship. It’s not that I am a dependent person, but I am also not completely independent, where I can be single or solo all the time….I drive myself nuts! And the friends I have been making the past month have been really solidifying this realization into truth.
So for now, life is going great. I’ve been making great friends and enjoying this beautiful city….No more alone time for me please!