The First…and Hopefully Not the Last.

So this is my very first post.  I mean, I should very well be studying for my two finals tomorrow (which I have not started to look at) but here I am.   Hurray for procrastination!  And to procrastinate even more this first post will probably be very long, but please bear with me.

For those of you who don’t know, I am going to be studying abroad in Barcelona, Spain this spring semester from  January 3-July 1st.   I’m starting this blog because want to be able to reflect on all the new experiences, gained insights, and any ruminations I have while abroad.  I wanted to start this blog now (not only to procrastinate) but also to  reflect upon all the many goals I want to achieve during my trip.  And after I come back, I can  retrospectively reflect on myself and the thoughts I had pre-Barcelona. 

I cannot even begin to tell you how ready I am for this experience. I can go on about the things I want to do in Europe, but these are just a few:

       ONE.    Indulge in the new rich culture & lifestyle.  I have never set foot in Europe, so everything about being a part of European culture is so intriguing.  Europe is the center of art, history, and so much culture that I am itching to explore.  Rather than live as an American student just studying and observing the culture, I want to integrate into the culture–I’m going to live and breathe it.  I chose to take all my classes in Spanish, which may be GPA suicide.  But I feel it’s the best way to meet some locals, really learn about the culture, and practice my Spanish.  In the end, GPA isn’t everything. It’s the experience that counts.

      TWO.    Explore, be spontaneous, go crazy.  And I don’t mean crazy in terms of partying.  I hear the Barcelona party life is off the hook, but that is a thought that bypasses my mind when thinking about Barcelona.  I want to travel everywhere.  See the world with a whole new perspective.  Try anything and everything (get that nose piercing that I have been contemplating on getting!)  Not have any “What-ifs,” but just do it.

      THREE.     Find myself and become one with my mind and soul.  I can’t say that without sounding cliché or just plain corny…yuck.  

 The reason why I titled my blog “Just a Beautiful Mess” is because I am honestly one hell of a confused person.  I am completely lost with my goals, future, priorities, and even just myself as a person.    But strangely, I really believe that this kind of lost sense of self and befuddlement is also so amazing at the same time.  It’s life.  Sometimes we have no idea what the heck is going on and what we’re doing in our lives.  Sometimes we think everything is going to fall apart and unravel into failure and defeat.  Yet, before you fall into that pit, things slowly start falling into place, and the light at the end of the tunnel finally seems to become brighter and attainable.  Life is crazy…yet so wonderful like that.

…And I just realized I went off on a great tangent.  I can go on about life haha.  Anyway, back to my goals! Because I believe I am a truly lost soul, I want to pour my deep thoughts and speculations into this journal.  I  have faith that I will come back a stronger and better person because I will have learned so much about life and myself.  I’ll come back home with a more ground sense of myself and live a more focused life knowing myself, my wants, my desires, goals, etc.

While abroad, I know I am going to be faced with so many situations and challenges and this of course can be intimidating.  But I am more excited than scared because these challenges will give me a chance to see the way I go about solving problems, and in turn, help me learn about myself.  The changes I will undergo will be so intangible and inexplicable, yet so palpable and a part of me all at the same time.  I am so ready for all of this, and I can’t stop thinking about it.

That being said,  I hope that I will be able to maintain this blog and update it ever so often, even during the crazy, hectic life that is to come.  I’ve always heard of people trying to keep a blog while abroad, but never actually dedicating themselves to it (I am guilty of this as well haha). 

So this will be the last of my goals:  Keep this blog up to date.  That being said, this post will be not be the last…but the first of many.  🙂


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